My Birthday

Day 11. It is my birthday today. I am now 38 years old. Wow! I don't feel 38 at all. And thanks to years of staying out of the sun, I don't look it either. I could easily pass for mid to late 20s. In fact, I still get carded when I buy alcohol.

Now, I just have to continue the journey of getting rid of all of this extra fat I have lying around my body and I will really look good.

Yesterday was awful for me. I wanted food and I wanted lots of it. I wanted cheeseburgers. I wanted chinese food. I wanted pizza. But my willpower prevailed and I didn't eat one bit. I simply stuck to the liquid diet. Go me!!!

And I now have 5 more days til soft foods.

I switched to the new beta version of Blogger today and I love it. It is so much easier to work with.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 470
Coffee, Weight Watchers Smoothie, Skim Milk, Beef Broth (2 cups), Chocolate Pudding (sugar free), Diet Peach Tea, Weight Watchers Yogurt, Jello (sugar free), Applesauce (unsweetened)

On The Downward Trek

Day 10. My department at work has a tradition in which we all go out to lunch on the day one of us has a birthday and the boss pays for it. My birthday is tomorrow and the liquid diet is throwing a kink into that plan. So, we are going to defer my birthday celebration until the next person's birthday at the end of next month.

I have less than a week now (6 days) until I can begin eating soft/pureed foods. I am hanging in there for this phase of the diet, but I cannot wait to get some actual food into me. This is tough. I'm not going to lie. But I made a commitment to stick it out for the first 2 weeks. I thought if I could do that then I could do the actual diet when real food was allowed. And I am on the downward trek portion of that commitment.

I am noticing a difference in how my clothes fit. They are getting looser. And my hands and forearms actually feel thinner. I have no idea how many pounds I have lost since I don't have a working scale. But I think that is a good thing. I tend to be a slave to the scale and it has driven my motivation into the ground on previous diet attempts. So, I am simply going to do this thing for a while and not focus on numbers but rather how I look and feel.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 630
Coffee, Weight Watchers Smoothie, Green Tea, Beef Broth (2 cups), Cream of Potato Soup, Jello (sugar free), Applesauce (unsweetened), Ensure Vanilla Shake

All Sorts Of Stressed

Day 9. I am all sorts of stressed right now. I am in the process of finding another place to live and moving all in the span of a week's time. I had intended on renewing my lease, but changed my mind at the last minute.

However, I have mainly stuck to the diet even though my pattern of stress eating would kick in about now. I did consume some extra calories today, but I stayed within the allowed food list.

I still crave a cheeseburger daily, but after putting so much time into the hardest two phases of the diet I am not going to ruin it now.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 680
Coffee, Weight Watchers Smoothie, Ensure Vanilla Shake, Chocolate Pudding (sugar free), Cream of Chicken Soup, Applesauce (unsweetened), Chocolate Pudding (sugar free)

Just A Typical Monday

Day 8. Today is just a typical Monday.

The creamy soups are certainly helping the boredom with this liquid phase of the diet, but boy do I want something more solid now. And I have only 8 more days until I can have soft/pureed foods. I am dying to have some chicken, mashed potatoes and/or scrambled eggs.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 670
Coffee, Weight Watchers Smoothie (2), Jello (sugar free), Ensure Chocolate Shake, Weight Watchers Yogurt

My First Week

Day 7. Today marks my first week on the gastric bypass diet.

It has been a hard week, but a satisfying one. It has been hard because I am always hungry. But, it has also been satisfying because I have done so well and it is becoming something that I know I can do.

Everyone I know thinks I am crazy to do this. But I think I would be crazy not to do this diet. I have about 170 pounds to lose. The only way that I am ever going to do that is if I find something that works for me. This diet is what I believe is going to work for me. And isn't that half the battle - to have faith that what you are doing is right?

I have looked around the web and have seen the weight loss averages that occur on this diet. It is astounding the amount of weight that is lost during that time period. So, judging by those numbers, I can conceivably lose around 100 pounds in 6 months. That completely blows my mind!

So, now that I have reached the end of my first week, I am 25 more weeks away from losing at or near 100 pounds. That makes the hunger pangs so much easier to take. And that is SO satisfying!

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 490
Coffee, Weight Watchers Smoothie, Cream of Broccoli Soup, Weight Watchers Yogurt, Applesauce (unsweetened), Chocolate Pudding (sugar free)

A Nice Change Of Pace

Day 6. Diets are always really easy for me to follow during the week because most of the day is consumed with work. However, weekends are another story altogether.

I am throwing in a few of the foods on the full liquid stage that I found listed on a medical site to give me some more variety. The cream of wheat for breakfast was a nice change of pace because it has some bulk to it. But honestly this stage hasn't been all that bad. I'm not going to lie and say I don't want a cheeseburger (a Whataburger specifically) because I really, really do. But, once again, I am choosing to do this and I get a lot of strength from knowing that.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 235
Coffee, Cream of Wheat, Fat Free Skim Milk, Applesauce (unsweetened)

I got so wrapped up in designing my new blog template that I lost all track of time and didn't eat anything else today. So, I am calling it a day food wise since it is too late to eat anything else.

Diet Boot Camp

Day 5. I feel really good.

I am getting into the groove of things and settling into the routine of the diet. It's tough to be hungry all the time, but there is also a satisfaction that comes from knowing that I have the power to choose to do this or remain fat. I choose this.

I view these first initial stages of the diet as diet boot camp. I am training my body to require less food and ridding myself of the bad habits that got me into this mess to begin with. When the regular diet stage rolls around I will be in fighting shape for the long haul.

:cue Rocky theme music:

I am starting to really believe (rather than merely hope) that I can do this now. It is starting to feel less like an experiment and more like a real journey to wellness.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 485
Coffee, Weight Watchers Smoothie (2), Jello (sugar free), Green Tea, Chicken Broth, Creamy Chicken Soup, Chocolate Pudding (sugar free)

500? Yikes!

Day 4. Thanks, Allan, for letting me know what the caloric intake is to be during the full liquids stage.

But 500 calories? Yikes! I don't know if I will be able to pull that off. I might have to adjust that somewhat. I can do 750 pretty easily, but 500 is just too low for me I think. I can handle hunger pangs, because they truly are the sign of the diet working as it is supposed to, but I don't want to be THAT miserable. I really don't think I could last the 2-3 weeks of this stage if I went that low in calories.

All in all though, I am liking this stage of the diet much better than the clear liquids. That was just not good. The Ensure shakes are pretty tasty, which alleviates a lot of concerns I had with being able to stick to the plan through these few weeks. I am very optimistic that I can do this now.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 560
Coffee, Ensure Vanilla Shake, Chicken Broth, Weight Watchers Smoothie (2), Chocolate Pudding (sugar free)

I think I am going to limit my Ensure shakes. They are far too expensive in the calorie bank and the Weight Watchers Smoothies are almost the same size and comparable in the nutrtional value, except they have 0 fat and less than half the sugar. Plus they are only 80 calories vs. 250 for the Ensure shakes. And with the marked difference in calories, I can consume more of them per day, thus eliminating the hunger pangs I want to avoid.

I guess maybe I can stick to the 500 calorie per day limit if I simply make smarter choices.

Something Heavy In My Tummy

Day 3. I made it through the first 2 days of clear liquids and I am glad that is over with. Yesterday afternoon I got hit with incredible hunger pangs that just would not go away.

I was never so glad to see a protein shake in all my life as I was this morning. It was heaven. My stomach feels full. I was a bit nervous about how it was going to taste. My only experience with liquid nutrition was with Slim-Fast shakes and those are awful. They are far to grainy for me. But the Ensure tastes pretty good and I feel like it is something that I can live with on a daily basis.

My only question that I don't seem to be able to find the answer to is how many calories should I be consuming each day. I see the lists of foods for each stage of this diet, but not a measure of caloric intake until the Regular Diet stage kicks in.

After doing some research on Google I found a more comprehensive list of the foods that are allowed in each stage.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 875 (I am not going this high again)
Coffee, Ensure Chocolate Shake, Jello (sugar free), Weight Watchers Smoothie Mixed Berry, Chicken Broth, Chocolate Pudding (sugar free), Ensure Vanilla Shake

So Far, So Good

Day 2. I am feeling pretty good.

I really thought that these first two days through the Clear Liquid Stage would be hard to handle, but it hasn't been that bad. I am hungry, but I'm not overly discomforted by it. In fact, I skipped the chicken broth I had planned to have for dinner last night.

The prep work I did prior to starting this of reducing portion sizes and frequency of meals is probably what is making this such an easy transition.

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 385
Jello (sugar free), Apple Juice (unsweetened), Chicken Broth (1 cup diluted)

ETA:
Oops! Allan pointed out to me that Apple Juice is not good. I thought that it was okay, but after reading the label I saw the reason why - 20g of sugar. I guess I have a lot to learn about what is and is not allowed.

And So The Journey Begins

Day 1. Today begins the experiment of doing the gastric bypass diet without actually having the surgery. I am not thrilled with the idea of letting anyone put my body through the trauma of surgery even for what is probably the biggest (no pun intended) desire of my life at the moment - to lose this weight.

I first got the idea after stumbling on http://almostgastricbypass.blogspot.com. It seemed quite radical at the time. But once the idea took hold I just couldn't shake it. So I decided to take the plunge.

I am very nervous, but also quite excited and hopeful. I look forward to really dropping a good deal of weight in the first few weeks.

Thankfully, I have been successful in keeping weight off I previously lost through other diet attempts. My highest recorded weight was 368. And I believe I am currently somewhere between 300 and 320 based on the clothes I can fit into. I don't know for sure because my scale broke. I am not buying another one until I can buy one off the shelf that only has the capacity for weighing up to 300 pounds.

I have slowly altered my eating habits over the past 6 months while contemplating whether to go on this diet. I have reduced portion sizes, cut my soda consumption down to a bare minimum and gotten sweets almost out of my life. It was a gradual process and I am glad that I did it because it makes this undertaking so much eaiser.

And so the journey begins...

Today's Total Caloric Intake: 350 calories
Water, Gatorade, Apple Juice

I Have To Start Somewhere

I am a fat girl.

I don't get dates.

I see the connection.

I have to start somewhere.

What can I do? I have to do something. My weight has ballooned to over 300 lbs. I have no social life. And it has to stop.

I have given this a lot of thought and prepared myself mentally for a good 6 months. I am going to go on the gastric bypass diet without having the surgery. I can't really afford the surgery (even with insurance). And I also really don't want anyone cutting into my body for anything other than dire, emergency circumstances.

This blog is an anonymous way to chart my progress and write of my frustrations, hopes and fears in this journey that I will begin on Monday. A trip to the grocery store tomorrow is in order to procure the jello, broth, etc. for the initial clear liquid stage that kicks off this diet.

And so it begins ...